In Memoriam: Kevin Gfell
The Iota Delta community is mourning the loss of Brother Kevin Gfell, Iota Delta class of 2001. He passed away Jan. 10.
Gfell was a fine active and alumni member. He was a member of the house’s Little 500 team, including the team that finished in third place in 1999. He also was a member of the alumni association board and an important part of efforts to save the chapter this past year.
Gfell grew up in New Haven and was living in Indianapolis. After finishing his undergraduate degree at IU, he graduated from the IU Law School at Indianapolis in 2004. He was practicing at Hall, Render, Killian, Heath & Lyman at the time of his death.
Funeral arrangements are pending. Services are expected to be Friday, Jan. 16 in Fort Wayne. More information will be posted here when it is available.
Those who knew him are shocked and saddened. He was a wonderful person and a credit to Chi Phi. Feel free to post your memories of Kevin in the comment section.
We all miss him. Rest in peace and God’s speed.
50 Responses to “In Memoriam: Kevin Gfell”
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R.I.P.
Like all of us I was quite numb with this saddening news. I made a lot of great friends in college who are incredibly intelligent-but don’t think any of them were ever as driven as Kevin. To the guy who taught me everything there was to know about cycling-how to clip into my pedals to getting up a really steep hill-you’ll be dearly missed. You were one of few people I could call after finishing a running race the last few years to tell you how I did-and you’d always tell me honestly what you thought of my time. I’ll be thinking of you as I step to the starting line of the Indy Half Marathon this coming May and know that you’d be telling me to push harder at the end just as you always did.
This evening I did come across some photos from college (including priceless ones of Kevin’s lavalier ceremony). I believe these deserve a better home than my closet shelf. To his closest friends and family who may want these-I will gladly mail them to you. Sorry-I only have hard copies-these were taken before we all had digital cameras. E-mail: mfalders33@hotmail.com
With Deepest Sympathy,
Michael “Mikes” Alderson
Our fraternity has lost a great man. Kevin recently stepped in to help the Alumni Board out in a pinch, and did so with flying colors. Of course, his success at running the Board during this time is not surprising, considering the way Gfell approached so many things, and that he was offered hiimself for the position just as he was growing his law legs and had so much else going on in his life is a testament to his drive and personality.
When I received the call I was shocked to hear Kevin’s name, and I do not think it will ever be something I’ll fully grasp. He’ll be very missed by many, myself obviously included.
Bobby Jones
He was a good man and a good friend. Does anyone know what happened?
Kevin was a great guy, an amazing leader and had a wonderful spirit. He will truly be missed.
.adw
adamdanielweiss@gmail.com
Although Kevin and I are generations apart, I had the good fortunre to get to know him as we both served on the alumni board. I always appreciated his energy, humor, vision, and the ability to almost instantly “process” whatever was going on, being said, or coming down – and, just as quickly, to offer appropriate ideas and solutions. Thus, it’s easy to understand how much he contributed, and how effective he was, on campus. Judging from occasional comments and gestures, I think Kevin’s faith was very important to him – and that should be
some consolation to us at this time.
I remember back during rush and all the work he helped me with when I was the rush chair. His positive attitude and ability to focus on the task at hand. His energy and his uncanny ability to just make you feel good when you were around him. You wanted to give it your all…crazy….and doing IU Sing. now that was fun and funny! You will be missed brother…
Kevin and I were together for several years towards the end of his college years, and although we have not kept in touch since we broke up, I am heartbroken over this news. Kevin was a person who cared very deeply about those around him, his friends, family, teammates, and his Chi Phi brothers. I think everyone can agree that when he set a goal for himself he would go above and beyond what anyone else would do to achieve that goal, and he was often wildly successful. I will never forget his sense of humor nor his immense dedication. He will be missed by many.
I have never hurt as bad as I did. When I got the news about Kevin. A piece of my heart left me along with him. I knew Kevin as you did, as a driven active and involved individual who took on every challenge with all the vigor he could muster. Obviously, from the comments I just read, many of you saw him and knew him as a true brother and will always have your many memories of him to keep with you. I can only hope and pray that you remember him in this light and not by his last single and extremely uncharacteristic act. We may never know, nor should we, why he did what he did. We only need to know and remenber him for what he was and how he helped almost everyone he met to become a better person in one way or another, be it as an athelete, fraternity brother, business associate or friend. I sincerely believe this to be his legacy.
His family and I can never express our gratitude for your kind words and rememberances enough through words alone. Suffice it to say that we find them very comforting and welcome in this difficult time.
At the same time, I do realize that he was as important to many of you, as a brother, as he was to us as a son and brother. I wish to offer each and every one of you our sympathy and prayer for the loss that you have suffered as well.
In particular to those closest to him that have been of assistance to us in the aftermath, May God Bless You. You have truly been an inspiration to help the rest of us through this.
God Bless and Love you all.
Greg Gfell
This is deeply saddening and is of great shock. As my grandfather fraternally, he helped me learn about Chi Phi and how not to just be a better brother but a better man. I’ll miss him forever and it’s such a shame.
Also, if anyone knows where we can send donations in his name to somewhere, if you can please post the information here. Thank you.
Fraternally,
Br. Tuohey
Strong will, passion, enthusiasm and the drive to succeed. Kevin displayed all these qualities. Although most of my memories were lost in the “Pink Room” i do remember a pledge brother who cared for his house, he cared for his fellow brothers, and he always worked hard to succeed. I regret not keeping in touch with Kevin after graduation. It’s sad that it takes a situation this tragic to think about what I could have and could not have done differently. Looking back though, we did have some great times through college and I know he will be missed greatly by his family and friends. Rest In Peace Brother. “Dee Lucky”
I did not know Kevin as well as most of you and only worked with him occasionally since I work at the North Office of Hall Render and Kevin was downtown. However, when he was up North, he always came back to say “hi” and give me a hug. He was a wonderful, warm and friendly person and I will miss him. Kevin’s family and loved ones are in my prayers.
Kathy Halderman
Kevin always said if anything happened I could count on his brothers. He would not be disappointed. No, he would be proud. I am overwhelmed by the support, love and help that I have been getting from all of you.
Family was very important to Kevin. And Chi Phi has certainly been part of his family. Growing up in a housefull of women ( 2 sisters and me). He found his true brothers in the fratenity. I am truely greatful that he was part of such a fine group of men.
Therefore, we have chosen the Chi Phi Educational Scholorship Program as our preferred memorial. Kevin would have wanted it that way.
A mother’s love is like no other. It is impossible for me to express my loss in simple words. He touched everyone he knew and made them better for it.
In the days and weeks to come, it is my hope that you will lean on each other. It is okay to cry, but remember to laugh. Kevin found humor in everything. There were many times he got out of punishment from Mom. Because it’s hard to be mad and laugh at the same time.
Live your lives to the fullest and cherish every moment you have. Be all that you can be and go for your dreams. Those were beliefs I shared with Kevin. It is my wish you remember them, too.
Everything happens for a reason. Although, we may never have all the answers trust God is there for you. Your prayers are felt by his family and we thank you for them.
From the bottom of my heart, know I appreciate all you are doing and have done
Sincerely,
Jan Gfell
jangfell@verizon.net
Anyone trying to get to Indy, please call me at 248.408.3041. I have a limited number of buddy passes on Continental Airlines that would allow you to fly standby. While they aren’t free, I believe they would be less than a regular last minute ticket. I would like to help any way I can.
I am saddened to hear of our losing you Kevin. You are one of the first guys I took up flying. Your name is in my logbook and I’ll always have that memory.
I went to school with Kevin all thru St. Johns and New Haven and he was ALWAYS so nice and SO funny. Though it has been years since I’ve last talked to him..I will always remember him and his great spirit. I am so saddened about this news and for his family and close friends. You are all in my prayers
I am so sad to hear of Kevin’s passing. My heart goes out to his family. I went to High School with Kevin. He was always smiling and so nice. He was a good friend and always positive. My prayers are with you at this difficult time.
I cannot think of Kevin without smiling. I met him at a toga party, and as we all know, Kevin loves the ladies… and pursued me relentlessly for the remainder of the evening.
I have never met another guy who had so much charm and so much confidence, or who could make me laugh like he did. Kevin and I began dating on and off several years ago, and even though we never seemed to be able to make it work for the long haul, my heart always belonged to him.
I have spent so much time with Kevin and have so many wonderful memories that I will cherish forever. He was family to me and to all of my friends. He was the person everyone loved to be around… the entire month of May will always belong to Kevin – his cinco de mayo parties, weekends at the track, the Indy 500, and of course, his birthday, which I have had the privilege of spending with him for the past 3 years.
I know how much all of you meant to Kevin – Chi Phi was something that he believed in so strongly, and worked so hard for. Being a Chi Phi brother is something that really meant something to him, and helped to shape the person that he was. And he was such an amazing person. We were all so lucky to have him in our lives.
My thoughts are with all of you…. Kevin’s family, brothers, friends from work… you all meant so much to him. I take comfort in knowing that Kevin really lived… more than most do in a full lifetime, in only 29 years. I know that he knew love, and I know that his faith will keep him safe always. I know in my heart that he has found peace.
I miss you and love you so much Kevin. No one will ever take your place.
This is absolutely terrible news. Kevin, Sally Steward, and I were moot court partners during law school. We roomed together in New York City at the largest law school moot court competition in the country. We were undefeated in our regional. Kevin was outstanding and obviously brought the competitive spirit and compassion that many of you have described here. No doubt Kevin touched many of our lives in different ways over the years. He will be sorely missed by all who knew him.
Joby Jerrells
My heart goes out to everyone in Kevin’s life. I only knew him in high school, but was a great, “goofy”, guy. He ALWAYS made me laugh, no matter what. My prayers are with his family and close friends.
What a shock this is to me and all of those I have spoke to from New Haven. Kevin was a high spirited guy with so much to offer. He was always kind and never rude. My prayers and my heart goes out to his entire family and those closest to him. God will watch over you in your time of mourning.
Kevin was a wonderful lawyer and a great friend to all who knew him. I particularly remember how he led the Hall Render Corporate Challenge team to victory in the legal division and in the “companies of our size” division in the fall of 2008 and his enthusiasm will not be forgotten. He got a lot of us out there for the Challenge, some who normally would be content to sit on the sidelines and watch. I will never forget the way he ran around the track cheering on the runners for our team. His spirit will continue to grace the hallways of Hall Render for many years to come and we will all cherish the opportunity we had to know him. Prayers go out to his friends and family and to those of us who worked with Kevin every day. May we all find peace in our hearts with time.
During my college years, few people approached an average day on the IU campus much as much enthusiasm, energy, and vivacity as Kevin Gfell–which makes this recent news such a painful shock. To me, Gfell was the consummate fraternity man, whose enormous devotion to his brothers at Chi Phi, was matched by his dedication to his academic and professional success. For those of us who knew him and called him brother, this is indeed a hard loss. RIP Br. Gfell. We’ll miss you.
Kevin always was the most positive and upbeat person in any room. People loved that about him. When Chi Phi was having its existential struggles on the IU campus, Kevin believed from the bottom of his heart that we’d be ok. He had a way of convincing people that good things would happen. I will rememer his for his contagious optimism.
He was also one of the most drven guys I’d ever known. He’d have personal and proffessional goals written all over his bathroom mirror. His motivation was just one of his many impressive characteristics.
I moved to Indy from out East this past August. While I always considered Kevin a friend, as anyone who has ever spent time with him would, I became quite close with him over the past few months. Kevin’s place was always the meeting point for Indy Chi Phi poker games or just to hang out and watch ballgames. His door was always open to his countless friends.
My heartfelt sympathies go out to his family. He was an amazing person on so many levels. He will be sincerely missed and remembered.
What a wonderful, fun loving and intelligent guy! He will truly be missed. My husband and I went to school with him and I especially had some fun experiences with him in French class! To his family and close friends, our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Kelli and Scott Stopher
As posted above, Joby Jerrells and I had the privilege of competing together in moot court during law school. Kevin and I met when we were paired in the final round of competition when both of our respective partners were eliminated. I think he was quite concerned about whether or not I had the level of committment and competitiveness he did (I didn’t let him down, I don’t think!) I have met only a few people in this world who were as tenacious and competitive as Kevin. We ended up making it to the final round of competition and going on to compete with Joby in national competition. Kevin was incredibly bright and funny with an extremely quick wit. I truly enjoyed being his teammate and even though we had lost touch after law school, consider him a friend to this day. May God watch over and comfort his family and his friends and I pray that Kevin has found perfect joy and peace in the arms of his Creator.
The best way for me to describe Kevin is ‘leader’. He was a born leader. I’ve never meant someone who exuded more leadership abilities and traits then Kevin.
Though it’s been nearly a decade since i’ve spoke to him, I can still remember his silly antics and contagiously crooked smile like it was yesterday.
To the Gfell family. My prayers go out to you in your time of need.
R.I.P. my friend.
I can honestly say that this is one of the biggest shocks that I have had in a long time. I am very saddened by Kevin’s passing. Kevin and I went to kindergarten together at St. John’s and then attended high school together at New Haven. He was even at my birthday party when I turned 6. Kevin and I were never really close friends over the years, but we always got along well whenever we were together. Unfortunately, we haven’t been in contact since high school graduation…that’s definitely my loss since Kevin was such a wonderful person. I’ll never forget that Kevin carried me through physics class in high school as we were lab partners. I owe him big time. I would have failed that class, but Kevin wouldn’t let me. He cared that much. He was such a happy, fun, caring and brilliant person. We all miss you Kevin. My deepest sympathy goes out to all of Kevin’s family and friends. May God bless you all now and always.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
— John 3:16
Kevin was such a great guy. I would never have made one of the best decisions of my life if it wasn’t for him: he gave me my bid to join Chi Phi. I will always remember the guy who could laugh at anything, work harder than anyone, and be a Brother to everyone.
I’ll miss you, bro!
I was fortunate enough to have almost two different friendships with Kevin Gfell. We shared many good times during college; and then a few years after college we became close again and spent a lot of good times together these last few years
For anyone with an interest, and a few hours to spare, I could tell you stories about “Gfell” that you’d never forget
But I’d rather share a few thoughts about Kevin. The Kevin, that along with Deebo and Nick, drove 4 hours to Chicago and back, to spend less than 24 hours with me on my 30th birthday (a favor I looked forward to returning, but will never have the chance to do). The Kevin that time after time opened his home to me (without hesitation) on my various trips to Indy to see the boys
I saw in Kevin all of the same great traits so many on here talked about. I appreciated our friendship and more than once had the thought to myself that I wished it were even deeper. Kevin was someone I would have loved to have had even more of a connection with. But I am grateful that we had the friendship we did
Three quick stories will always remain in my mind when I think of him;
-We had gone cycling together during college. Early in the ride it was obvious to both of us that I struggled to keep his pace, and I could sense his frustration. He knew as did I, that at any point of his choosing he could leave me in the dust. But he never did, he carried me the whole way. And at the end of the ride when I apologized and asked if he would rather ride alone in the future so he could keep a stronger pace, he handled his response (which was yes) with a tact and compassion that impressed me then and remains with me even 10 years later
-A few weeks before I graduated college, there was a silly incident between two members of our fraternity that was causing a lot of strife in the house which really bothered Kevin because he cared for Chi Phi so much. Since I was a senior and former house leader, he came to me in private and asked that I interject myself in the situation. I brazenly told him that I had no interest as I was “on my way out the door” and that the younger guys needed to handle this on their own. He shot right back at me and essentially told me that I needed to do this, that it was my responsibility. I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice how important it was to him that this situation be resolved. I was so impressed with that. He was right in what he said to me and I’m glad that I had the good sense to listen to him and change my mind to ultimately do the right thing
-I saw Kevin in August 2008 in Chicago during our fantasy football draft. Me teasing him (and vice versa) on our fantasy football chat board was a favorite past-time. Sadly, this will now go down as the last time I ever saw him. At this time, it had been about 5 months since I last saw him. And for me that 5 months was filled with emotional experiences (some very bad and others very good, including my engagement) that we never got to talk about, but I knew he was aware of. When we saw each other, we greeted each other as usual, with a shit-eating grin and a hug (a real hug, not the bull-shit variety men so often do). But when he saw me this time, the smile was noticeably different (to me) as was the hug; and without saying much at all, he communicated a ton to me in terms of the compassion and caring he felt for me.
As I reconcile my complex emotions right now my priority is to do just as Mr. Gfell stated above, and remember Kevin as I knew him when he was alive and nothing else.
I feel hurt. I hurt for how much Kevin must have been hurting inside to get to this point, and that he went through it alone. I hurt horribly for his entire family and his parents in particular. I hurt for his closest friends, who also happen to be some of mine.
I feel disappointed. Disappointed that the last words I got to say to him were “great to see you. I’m gonna head down to Indy in a few months. See you then.” Disappointed that he won’t be at my bachelor party. Or my wedding. Or my 40th birthday. Or anything else. Disappointed in the way he left us. Disappointed because he deserved so much better. Disappointed because he WAS so much better. Disappointed because the way he left us was in no way reflective of the selfless, brave and intelligent person I knew.
And at times I feel anger. Which I fight with all my will
When I’m able to reconcile my emotions I know I’ll be left with the memory of the great person Kevin was and the times we shared. And that, nobody can take away.
I truly cared for him. And I will miss him.
Sincerely,
Mike Mazza
I’m deeply saddened to hear of Kevins passing. I didn’t know Kevin all that well but I did know he was an extrodinary young man in high school, and from what I can see, had grown into nothing less than an extrodinary man! I know he will be greatly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends.
Kevin was my oldest, best friend. I am just numb from the news, not knowing how to react. Like everyone else who ever met Kevin, my life is a little less rich now that he is gone. I don’t have a single high school memory that doesn’ t involve him, from making movie parodies for English class, to making being on the speech team cool, to eating $20 worth of coney dogs. I deeply mourn his loss, and pray for God’s comfort for all of his friends and family.
One story to share how caring Kevin was. The summer after we graduated from high school, I was getting ready to go to the Air Force Academy (and what turned out to be the worst summer of my life). The day before I left, Kevin and I were saying our goodbyes, and he presented me with the key to his first car, the 1979 Sherwood Metallic Green Mustang. If you knew Kevin, you knew how much he loved that beat-up car, and how upset our whole group was when it was totalled. Anyway, Kevin gave me that key to cheer me up, knowing that just looking at it would make me remember the good times we had. That was just Kevin, one of the best people I have ever had the honor to know in my life.
I met Kevin about 8 or 9 years ago through my brother. Over time he became a good friend, and not just someone my brother knew. He was genuinely caring guy. He was also the life of a party almost every time we would all get together. I apologize if I ramble but these are just some of the memories that come to my mind when I remember Kevin.
I remember hanging out at the apartment with Kevin, Nick, Ian, and my brother. Those were really great times especially when I first moved out on my own. I remember the times we all played basketball. Kevin wasn’t the greatest basketball player in the world but he would be all over the court harassing you, stealing passes, and heaving up 3’s. I remember watching Super Bowls through the years together. Through the last 4 or 5 years nothing could top the times we had at the 500 every May. And ahhh… the cornhole, “the Van Rooy Boys vs. G’Fell & Barger” the greatest rivalry in all of recreational pre Indy 500 activities. Those were classic memories that I will never forget.
Furthermore, I will remember all of the great times we had playing fantasy football. One memory sticks out to me is one year going into a Monday Night Football game between the Cowboys & Eagles Kevin’s team was giving my team the beat down of a lifetime. I think he was winning by like 60 or 70 points. I still had McNabb and T.O. left to play and he had Westbrook. We had an awesome time that night as McNabb and Owens hooked up for like 5 TDs and my team pulled out the victory.
This past 500 I hadn’t seen Kevin in a while and my wife had just given birth to our daughter a couple of weeks earlier. When I arrived Kevin was quick to congratulate me and ask how everything was going. That showed how much he cared about every one of his many friends. He was also one of a select few who chipped in on a bachelor party for me when I got married. That small gesture meant the world to me.
When Kevin moved into his house I was always welcome in his home and had a standing invitation to any of his get togethers. When my friend and I needed some legal advice for an endeavor we were beginning Kevin went out of his way to ask one of his friends to sit down with us and answer any questions we had. That meeting helped us begin our journey in many ways and I will never forget that gesture.
I am still struggling with the fact that I will never see him again in this lifetime. But, I know he’s in a better place and that whatever pain he was feeling won’t bother him again. I just wish we had an opportunity the help him through it.
I miss ya buddy, make sure you keep that smile on your face.
As a co-worker of Kevin’s, I can say this week has been unbearable at the office. I can’t help but think, since I saw him several times a day, if there was anything I missed. I can say, no matter how much I rack my brain, I can’t think of anything. On the other hand, how could the unbearable pain he was experiencing go unnoticed? Kevin was such a great person, and a hell of a lawyer. Kevin treated all of his co-workers like friends. To him, there was no hierarchy.
I didn’t know Kevin very well, but after reading all of these posts, everything I had assumed about him was true. I always had an immense amount of respect for him, but now that’s only intensified. He was an extraordinary person who will be forever missed at Hall Render.
My brother and I both knew Kevin from high school (and on to IU) and both of us had nothing but the utmost respect for him. He was always kind, always smiling, always friendly. We were reminiscing about him last night, and we’re both struck by what a truly great guy he was.
I am so very sorry for the loss of this wonderful person. His family, friends, and those whose lives he touched are in our thoughts.
I’m so saddened to hear of Kevin’s passing. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Gfell family during this difficult time. Kevin brought laughter and love to all who knew him. I have very fond memories of him from high school. He will be deeply missed.
I met Kevin 2 years ago when he was a facilitator with me at HOBY. He was such an amazing person and I was so fortunate to get to spend time getting to know him. He had such an infectious personality that would touch everyone around him, and just make them feel better.
I will never forget him. Though I did not know him as well as some of the other people that have posted here, I am still struck with agonizing pain knowing that such a fantastic individual has been taken from us.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and everyone else who knew him. We have lost a truly fantastic individual. He will never be forgotten and will live on in our hearts.
Kevin was a dear friend of mine. He was someone I always could depend on and expected to always be there. He could drive me nuts and then make me laugh so hard I’d forget why I was ever upset. He helped me through one of the hardest times in my life and I am not sure he ever even knew how grateful I was for that. There are so many great memories I have with Kevin and selfishly I want more time with him, as I know we all do. He was truly one of my best friends. A friendship like ours is a hard thing to find and an even harder thing to let go of. It’s just not right, though I am trying to accept it. My life will never be the same for having known Kevin and now for having lost him. Love you kg and miss you terribly.
I had the privilege of working with Kevin for the last (almost) 5 years. He was an extraordinary attorney whom I could always call for help. Even more so, he was a good person whose life ended way too soon. My prayers go to his family and please know that he will always be in the thoughts of those who knew him. God speed, my friend.
After reading all that has been written about Kevin, I am certain that he lived his life with the same determination to be the best that he displayed in high school. He has certainly left a legacy.
Kevin –
After finding out what happened I’ve been pretty messed up and have experienced just about every emotion possible. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say for the past few days. Unfortunately the only way I can sum up my feelings is to be sad that it took you being gone for me to truely appreciate how much I care about you and how much I’m going to miss you. I’m glad as Rush Chair I was able to give you a bid to join Chi Phi and happy that beyond being fraternity brothers we were also friends. Things will not be the same without you.
Tony
Riding in and training for the Little 500 was one of the best and most defining experiences of my life. I rode with Kevin my last two years. Through riding and training I spent just about as much time with Kevin as I did with any other single person during college.
Together with John Emmetsberger, I took Kevin on his first official “training” ride. After he said he might be interested in riding, John and I told Kevin we would take him on an easy 15-20 mile ride. It was a nice spring day and we ended up going closer to 45 miles. During the last 10 or so, I just kept telling Kevin that we would be finished just over the next hill. Just about anyone else would have bailed and called for a car ride home or called it quits once they got back, but Kevin hung in the whole time. It was that first ride that I had an inclination that Kevin had a very special sense of determination and perserverance. Despite our occassional differences, I always admired him for his drive and motivation. Kevin was so competitive and driven to be the best at whatever he did that it tore him up when he did not meet and surpass his goals.
After college, I was so impressed with not only how successful Kevin had become professionally, but also how he continued to constantly push himself whether it was kicking ass in a half ironman triathlon or staying involved with leading the Chi Phi house. Despite not being in regular contact, I often looked to his example when I needed to push myself a little harder. I always assumed that our paths would continue to cross or somehow be intertwined. Now that Kevin is gone I feel that a significant piece of my life has fallen away too. Nonetheless, I will always remember his relentless spirit.
Bob Malinowski
Probably the hardest thing I’ve every done was to tell his Dad about Kevin’s passing, for Kevin was my son-the son of my heart. I’ve known Kevin for almost twenty years and yet I never knew him, After reading and hearing all the memories from everyone, I only knew a small part of what a great man he had become. He was so much more than any of us ever knew. He shared with each of us just what we need each time he touched our lives. As we move on I know we are all better people from loving him as he did us. Words can not express my gratitude to all who who are with us in mind, body, or spirit. The support from family, friends, acquaintances, and his Chi Phi brothers has been over whelming. I thank you all from the bottom of my shattered heart. I pray you all find peace and comfort in memories of Kevin in the times to come. Memories of Kevin will be with us all forever. Kevin, you are loved and missed more than you could imagine. God Bless you all, Dian
Kevin was the kind of friend you could always count on. I will never forget that Kevin made the drive from IU to Bowling Green when we first started college, just to hang out with me when I was having a hard time adjusting to being away from all my friends. After reading all these posts, it is obvious that Kevin was that kind of friend to everyone. Some of my favorite high school memories involve Kevin, from French class and zoo trips to Kevin wearing a men’s romper in the mall during Senior Skip Day. Kev, I went to the ‘Stang’s funeral but I never expected to go to yours. I hope and pray that wherever you are, you have found peace. My prayers and thoughts are with the Gfell family.
Kevin was one of my students at St. John the Baptist in New Haven. I was his junior high English teacher. Kevin was intelligent, funny, energetic, and kind. Most importantly, Kevin was a good person. I am saddened that Kevin has died. I will pray that God, in his mercy, will bring Kevin peace. As his former teacher, upon reading all of the kind reflections, I am proud of Kevin in that he continued to be a good person. To all of his friends and family, I am sorry for your loss. – Rob Sordelet
Like everyone I was shocked to hear of Kevin’s passing. Many of my most fond memories from high school involve Kevin and his fun-loving spirit. He always brought a smile. Prayers to Kevin’s family and all those who loved him that memories like these will bring comfort and peace.
Kevin had a way of always making people laugh. I met him almost three years ago while working at Hall Render. We dated briefly and remained friends. I’ll miss his keeping in touch even if though many times it was just to banter back and forth via text messaging.
He loved his job and was the life of the party…and if it wasn’t a party before he arrived, it would be once he was there.
Kevin will be deeply missed by not only his friends and family but the legal community here in Indianapolis. Kevin, though a young lawyer, always managed to give back to the law school and future law students. He truly was an amazing man, who had so much to give.
Kevin will always hold a special place in my heart and life won’t be the same without him, but we all have to smile each day and enjoy life to the fullest. Kevin wouldn’t want it any other way.
Love,
Beth Barnes
For those who could not attend the services for Kevin, here is the Ulogy that I read. I hope it brings you some measure of comfort.
“In Ecclesiasties we read that
There is a time to give birth and a time to die; …
time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
Kevin’s time to be born was on May 30, 1979, and was immediately followed by our times to laugh and to dance along with him as he shared his life with us.
On Jan 10th came his time to die, and began our time to weep and to mourn, but also an opportunity to laugh and to dance as we remember the life of this wonderful young man.
I remember that day in May when a frail little guy came into the world not knowing what lie ahead for him. This little baby grew into a man that we all knew and loved. Had anyone tried to tell me what a great man he would become I would not have doubted it for a minute, but reality is always more impressive than we know. I could never have imagined that he would turn out to be the great man we. He left his mark on everyone he met and it was always a positive experience for that lucky person. He loved life, family and friends. He always strove to be the best he could be and tried to instill that quality into everyone he interacted with.
As I have been meeting with people over the last week and reading thru the postings from his brothers, associates and friends on the Newspaper and Chi Phi Memorial pages for Kevin I was struck with the adjectives and statements used to describe him and the reaches of his influence around the world.
Although I knew all of these things and more, I am still overwhelmed by the responses from so many people that I didn’t know and by the numbers of lives that he touched. His influence will be felt forever. I couldn’t write a better tribute to him than these comments. It is truly a tribute to Chi Phi which was a large part of what made him into the man he was, and I thank each and every brother for their contributions to his great character.
Every one of us hopes for some meaningful legacy to leave when we are gone. I know that for me my greatest contribution to the world will have been my son. I could never have hoped to accomplish the kind of far reaching impact that his life has had. The tributes to him have come from around the world, and I know that in some small way he has influenced what these people are doing with their own lives. There is no telling how truly far reaching his influence may yet reach. This is his legacy, and I am proud to have been a part of it.
As he leaves us and takes with him a piece of each of our hearts with him let us remember him in this light. Kevin was a truly lively person who loved life, and always gave of himself and that’s what we should remember.
The way he died was even a lesson to us all. As strong and independent as he was, Kevin had his own demons to deal with. We will never know what they were. I honestly believe that it wasn’t the Kevin we all knew that took his life from us, but his demons. If we want to truly honor him I would hope that we all leave today with the lesson he shared with his last act. When you have problems don’t try to hide them and deal with them by yourself, but take advantage of your circle of friends, family and brothers and let them help you. I think this was his final lesson for us all.
I pray that God and the Angels that have welcomed him into their arms in heaven might grant each of us here the peace that comes from knowing that his demons may have taken his life, but they lost his spirit. His spirit belongs to God and to each of us in that little piece of himself that he shared with us and that will remain with us forever.”
In addition I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to those wo have helped us hrough this difficult time. May God bless each and every one of you.
Greg Gfell
88 Country Forest Dr.
Fort Wayne, IN 46818
Ph: 260-755-1783
gfellgreg@yahoo.com
As I’ve read through these comments, I’ve been able to see how many lives Kevin has touched. Kevin was the rush chairman when I rushed the house, and the first thing I noticed about him was his enthusiasm. You could see his enthusiasm as he talked about Chi Phi, and in the way he obsessively trained for the Little 500. Kevin was my pledge dad and I got to know him during my early college years, however we began to lose touch over the last several years. I regret not keeping in touch with him and its sad that I won’t have a chance now. Our fraternity has seen its share of tragedies over the last few years, but these experiences have shown us that the bonds we talked about during pledgeship truly are strong .
RIP Mike Jamski RIP Kevin Gfell
Below is the message I delivered at Kevin’s Prayer Service on Saturday for those who were unable to make it:
I’m honored to be in a room with so many people whom Kevin considered important in his life in one way or another. I have to say that as a friend, fraternity brother and former roommate that Kevin was truly a gifted person…enthusiastic, ambitious, caring, determined, and dedicated in everything he did. The two qualities in Kevin that most stick out in my mind are “dedicated” and “determined.”
Kevin always strived for perfection….determined to succeed against all odds. No matter what it was, he was head of the pack…or if he wasn’t when he started, he was when he finished. One thing Kevin developed was a love for cycling. He helped our team achieve two top 10 finishes. Was that good enough for him? No, but we were as happy for it as if it were a first place trophy. As recruitment chairman of the fraternity, his weekly report was always the most enthusiastic…even if there was nothing exciting to report. He coined a term (that I won’t quote directly), but was a play on the word “fan-tastic”…and that’s how I would describe Kevin…a fantastic friend and dedicated to the accomplishment of our collective goals….determined to make the world a better place.
Beyond college, Kevin maintained that dedication and perseverance. As Secretary and later President of the Alumni Association, he helped us make it through some very tough times…steadfast and true to all his endeavors, and I can be sure that Kevin applied this same work-ethic professionally as well. We are all so lucky for the talents he so kindly shared.
Kevin, my friend and brother, you were truly a good man, but instead of feeling cheated for a life lost so young, I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I had the opportunity share the good and not so good times with you for the time you were with us. You will be sadly, sadly missed.
I, however, prefer to look at this as a challenge…a challenge to live each one of our lives with such enthusiasm, determination, and dedication as you did your own.
Carry on, we must, brother, but you will be a light and an inspiration for all of us for the rest of our years.
-Shawn Pritchett
January 17, 2009
I met Kevin a few years ago and would see him one day a year. Via a mutual friend, I would meet with a group of people, including Kevin, each year on Pole Day at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and I only just found out last weekend at IMS about his passing. It was such a shock and I am still very saddened. Kevin was such a unique individual, so full of life. I will miss the Andretti K-Mart / Havoline driver jersey that he would proudly wear to qualifications. His praises of Marco Andretti last year and his voicing the “Indiana Jones” theme (Marco’s car was painted with a movie promo for ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’) each time Marco would circle the track is indelibly etched in my memory. It will be impossible not to remember the joy that he inspired. On one of my absolute favorite days each year, that first day of qualifying at Indy, I will stop to remember Kevin and the fullness of life he had within him. And I only knew him for a few days of his lifetime. It is amazing how we can impact others without ever knowing it. My prayers, albeit much too late, are with his family and friends. Gfell, my friend, you will be missed.